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I accidentally crossed paths with my first Dominant online when I was going through a divorce seven years ago. My first thought was to run away fast: He must be some whip-toting freak with a dungeon in his basement.

And I can honestly say that each relationship built on the former and has taught me profound things about my body, myself and even life. Here are the answers to nine popular questions I've been asked.

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Please note that BDSM is divided into three areas: Not everyone combines all areas, nor do they do so in the same ways; it's up to the couple to decide upon and consent to together. Also, many couples don't even categorize themselves under these T and simply call acts like blindfolding or handcuffing "kink.

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For example, a Dom may create simple yet 'unordinary' rules for his sub to follow, such as requiring she ask his permission to masturbate when he's absent. Or, the dynamic may involve much stricter rules and numerous ssomeone that entrust him with more control of her mind, body and behaviours. The Dom's job is to listen closely to her, ask questions, intuit what she says and sometimes can't, and help her creatively and safely explore her innermost self, mentally, emotionally and yes, sexually, too.

To someone interested in exploring d s relationships her boundaries get gently pressed, too. And if one pillar is missing or one starts crumbling, the relationship becomes stunted and may even collapse.

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What appeals to me the someine is the intense cerebral connection -- the mind play and To someone interested in exploring d s relationships feelings it conjures in me, sometimes all day long the brain is, after all, the biggest sex organ.

The words, the orders, the reprimands, the tone, and the downright audacity for him to say it all: Never would I allow anyone else to speak to me in this way, or, over all, to have such deep access into my mind, body and heart.

And I hear myself responding in ways that similarly shock me -- from mouthy and totally improper to meek and pleasing or with no air in my lungs at all. All the while I feel with my mind, and heart and full body, the anticipation, the fear, the exposure, my power, his control and protection, desire and love. What does that look like?

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I have many different aspects to my personality. For the most part, I'm pretty straight-lined -- responsible, hard-working, kind, thoughtful, capable, organized, boring.

Maybe it's my upper middle-class, good girl upbringing at work, I don't know. But some parts of me itch to go outside the lines. And those parts are bitchy, aggressive, sly, daring, bold, manipulative, and even, I'd say, immature. Poking at my Dom, testing him, trying to break his rules and, in some ways, undermine his masculinity, brings me great pleasure.

I'd almost describe it as glee. If he doesn't rise to the challenge, it's actually a turn-off to me.

It could even involve humiliation and standing in the corner like a berated child. The submissive never knows 'exactly' what her Dom is going to do -- and the slight fear of the unknown can be erotic.

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That being said, she should always know that she is safe and won't be pushed outside her limits, physically, mentally or emotionally. If this happens and she immediately wants it to stop, she can call out a mutually agreed upon "safe word.

To someone interested in exploring d s relationships

It's not all the time, it's just sometimes. And I don't know the exact answer. Why do you sometimes crave tomatoes on explorung bread while Exploriny feel like grilled cheese on white? Why does it even matter if we both enjoy a good meal and are To someone interested in exploring d s relationships satisfied and unharmed in the end? All I know is that some part of me is attracted to strong, decisive, creative, powerful men who also possess the Dom 'skill Friendlys Cascavel you asked about cars a topic interetsed another article.

And when I'm around that energy and reminded of it, I like how it makes me feel as a woman Ti sexual being. It's not that I think I'm not all of those things too, but something inside of me is appeased and awakened when I feel that in the company of my partner. To someone interested in exploring d s relationships back, all I can say is that the mundaneness of raising three kids within Ti stable, To someone interested in exploring d s relationships, domestic life and marriage squashed my interest in sex beyond the requisites.

Only when I became single again at age 37 did I realize how much my sexual desire rouses when my mind and imagination are consistently engaged and challenged.

Sex is more like an extension of that journey, a vehicle if you will, that allows you to excavate, ask, dare, receive, give and explore things about yourself, and slightly beyond yourself, that you never knew existed.

The power and intensity and connection to one another almost feels cosmic. It's like you're attached to one another, like muscle on bone. In the real world I am a professional, a mom, capable, creative and self-reliant. I long to be mastered and rlationships and led by one amazing man I love.

Finding the D/s balance in relationships – Alan's Journey

But not just any many can call himself a Dom and own me. There is a ferocious tiger that guards the gates to that sacred part of me.

Get top stories and blog posts emailed to me each day. Newsletters may offer personalized content or advertisements. Parents Alyson Schafer Baby Names.

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Does the Dom have all the power while explkring sub is pretty much a doormat? I can only explain this from my perspective -- so I'll have to back up a bit: But why, as a grown woman, would you possibly want to behave so childishly?

Do you have psychological issues? No more than the average person. I encourage other women to do the same. Photo gallery 50 Shades of Grey stills See Gallery. San Francisco Erased 8, Pot Convictions.

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